I aten’t dead


So many almost-written blog posts over the past couple of months – shocking! Although I have been doing okay with the new blogs: reviews on LittleFrogScribbles, and recipes on AppleJellyJam. I also have LittleFrogCards set aside for when I start being a little more organised about creativity blogging. One day I’ll even get organised, and take this ‘private’ (hah!) blog into it’s public form over at DreamScheme(do) – I have a whole planned series on habits! 🙂

Several of my to-scribble-about things are still from Gretchen Rubin’s Better Than Before, including her ‘know yourself’ Are you a finisher or an opener? When I first read that, I thought – finisher! I love ticking things off lists, after all 🙂

But it only took me a moment to realise I’m far more of an opener. Maybe not so much with the toothpaste or things on that level, but generally in life. You only have to look at my current ‘am reading’ list of NINE books (!) to see that nothing holds more excitement than picking up a new… book, hobby, etc. In fact, my ‘start a wholly different career at 30-something’ is probably the same principle: the old is dull, versus new and hopeful and shiny.

Which got me thinking about change in general, and my conflicted attitudes towards it. For instance, I rather want to move house – I’ve been in the same place for a long time now, and I’m beyond sick of the noisy neighbours and have given up on any of them contributing to repairs or cleaning that they aren’t forced into. But… I love my view, and the location is great for transport, and I have no guarantees that the maddening noise situation would improve. Similarly with my job: it’s been a couple of years, and I’m not progressing as I’d wish. So new has a lot of appeal there, too – but a lot to lose. Hmm.

Back to the point, and this is me acknowledging that ‘finishing’ can be a chore for me. The MSc and diploma (and whoo – still – that exams are all behind me!) were great to start, and a soul-destroying grind to complete. And while it’s nice to have those accomplishments behind me, I don’t hugely care as much as you might think – mostly just relief that I don’t have to do those things any more!!

So… here we are back at Scannerism. Knowing stuff like this about myself is all for the good, especially in making choices going forward. Getting into coding was probably a good move: there’s always more to learn, no end point to slog towards uninspired-ly. I can see that it’ll make writing harder – and yes, I’ve loved the challenge of NaNoWriMo, but never gone back to edit/finish anything.

The knowledge also helps me be a little calmer about habits – upcoming post about Habitica! – which are not about finishing things, or attaining goals. Reframe as daily practice, and appreciate slow improvement – that’s the way to manage those: a little fitter, stronger, better at hobby x. And a few more frequent blog posts that don’t waffle on about six topics 😉


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